Hepatitis

S: "What is hepatitis?"

Wock cwime-ing

CS: "Becca, can I be-way you?"
Me: "No C, I'm too heavy for you to belay me."
CS: "No! I weigh mo-ah than you!"
Me: "No you don't."
CS: "Yes! I do! How much do you weigh?"
Me: "How much do YOU weigh?"
CS: "You fuhst!"
Me: "I bet you weigh about 60 pounds."
CS: "Nope! I weigh about 80!"
Me: "If I weighed 80 pounds I would look disgusting. But thank you."

Who is telling the truth? I hope it's not both.

SD: "Why does your car smell like a farm?"

*Next day*

MD: "Your car smells like you."
Me: "Is that bad?"
MD: "No! It just smells like you."


....One of them is lying to me.... I really hope it's contestant number 1....

Ripped

*While I am examining his onesie snowsuit*

BS: "Is anything ripped?"
Me: "No, you're good."
BS: "Something is ripped!"
Me: "What?"
BS: "I'M RIPPED!"