Ke$ha

AC: (Pretending climbing rope is a necklace) "Becca, do you like my necklace?"
Me: "Oooo yeah! Is that designer?"
AC: "Duh. It's Ke$ha."
Me: "Oh my God! Ahahahah!"

Did you get me a Christmas present?

Me: "B, thank you so much for the Christmas present! That was so thoughtful of you and your family!"
BS: "So, did you get me a Christmas present?"
Me: "Um, no."

Fistpump

CS: "What should my password be?"
Me: "How about your pets' name-"
CS: "Fistpump!"

Handpicked

MFM: "I'm glad you picked me. I have fun with you."

Christmas dinner

CS: "Wait, can you come ovuh fo-ah Kwis-mas dinnuh?"

Worst nightmare ever

SD: "Your hair looks like a spider."

Make sure your kids believe in Santa, otherwise you will have this conversation...

CS: "Ho ho ho! That was on a window."
Me: "Who else says that?"
CS: "Santa! Actually, Mom says is because Mom is Santa."
Me: Silence...
CS: "Yeah, thay-uh was a wo-ah (war) on Kwismas eve and Santa was killed by the Iwakians (Iraqians) in 1904. So now Mom is Santa. I'd like to go to the no-ath pole someday."
Me: "Yeah? Who would you want to see there?"
CS: "Thay-uh's no one thay-uh! Santa is dead."
Me: "What about polar bears or Santa's elves or reindeer?"
CS: "No! They all get thay-uh powuh fwom Santa so they ah all dead too!"
Me: Silence.

Dark alley

DR: "Have you ever walked down a dark alley?"

Bunny ears

Me: "C, can you please stop giving me bunny ears?"
CB: "It means I love you. And also something inappropriate."

Hip hopping

Me: "D, do you know who Snoop Dogg is?"
DR: "Yeah, he's a gangster."
Me: "What's a gangster?"
DR: "He hip hops. And people shoot him."