Handcuffs

MFM : "I brought my handcuffs!" Me: "Why?!"

Things you don't want children yelling in public

*While playing tag at a park with a dad and 2 girls*

8 year old MFM: "Pussy! Pussy!"

Old parents

MFM: "That dress is so pretty!"
Me: "Maybe one day you'll have a dress from here. I do."
MFM: "You do? Why?"
Me: "I got my prom dress here."
MFM: "Can you bring it next time?!"
Me: "No, it's at my parents' house."
MFM: "They don't need it. Your parents are too old for another baby."
Me: "Ahahahahah!!"

So. Much. Vomit.

BS: "HUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! BLEHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WUUAGHHHHHHH!!!"

I'm dying my hair pink

RK: "Becca, you should dye your hair pink!"

Cigars

BS: "Becca, can I talk to you about something?"
Me: "Sure B, what's up?"
BS: "I've started smoking cigars."

Condoms

SD: "That's a lot of people getting off the bus."
Me: "Yeah, are there a lot of houses back there?"
SD: "No. A lot of condoms."