ADHD

AC: "Do you know what kind of ADHD I ha - Look! Two guys in suits!"

How to achieve clean and shiny nails

CS: "Do you know how I get my nails so kween?"
Me: "Do you cut them and wash them with soap?"
CS: "No! But you have to pwah-miss not to tell anyone. My mom says I al-weady get emba-wessed enough."
Me: "I can't promise you I won't tell anyone but I'd like to know."
CS: "Pwah-miss?!"
Me: "I can't do that C."
CS: "Ok, well I put cle-ah nail po-wish on them to make them so shiny. See?!"
Me: "They look great! And I won't tell anyone."

Sex drive

KFM: "I've seen lots of movies. I watched one called Sex Drive. I thought it was going to be about a cancer drive for people of the same sex."
RR: "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard."

Po po

DR: "Drive fast, like the po po is chasing you!"
Me: "Po po?"
DR: "Yeah, it's a bad way to say the police."
Me: "That's not very nice, police are good people."
DR: "No they're not! They took my mommy away to jail."
Me: "Oh, yeah..."

Sexy

Me: "So do you usually call your boyfriend Charles or Charlie?"
SD: "Charles I guess..."

*Pause*

SD: "Actually, I call him 'sexy'."

Boys

AC: "How do you get a boy to like you?"

Snakes

Me: "So what's your boyfriend like?"
SD: "You mean what does he look like or what's he like?"
Me: "What's his personality like?"
SD: "I dunno... he likes snakes..."

So innocent

DR: "Where do you people learn these words?!"

Creative insult

C: "Go dry hump your mother!!!"

First time shaving

BS: "So, I guess I can tell you why I have this cut on my lip..."
Me: "Oh yeah, what's that from?"
BS: "I shaved for the first time. I know, it doesn't look like I have to, but I have peach fuzz. I even had to put the toilet paper on the cut!"
Me: "Oh... ow."

Sprinkles

*After getting ice cream*

GB: "Sprinkles bring joy to everyone!"