Cross-dressing for women

*Discussing MN's recent trip to Boston for the Anime Convention*

MN: "I took a Cross-dressing for women seminar. They teach you to how to stand to make your chest flat and reduce the size of your breasts. They also teach you how to stand like a man but since I always hang out with boys I already do that."
Me: "Oh, cool..."

Gas attack

CS: "I'm going to muh-duh eve-we-body in school with my butt."
Me: "What do you mean??"
CS: "I had chili last night fo-ah dinnuh."

So gay

CS: "Becca?"
Me: "Yeah?"
CS: "You ah gay wight now."
Me: "What...?"
CS (smiling): "You ah so gay wight now."
Me: "Um..."
CS: "Gay means happy! And you ah happy wight now! Did you know they-uh two meanings fo-ah the wohd gay? You ah the happy one. Not the othah one."

Sex ed at an early age

*Walking through a path in the woods behind my elementary school while MD pointed out various trash*

MD: "Soda bottle, ketchup packet, plastic bag, wrapper-"
Me: "-Let's keep moving M!"

*The wrapper was an open Durex wrapper...*

Police record

*At an optometrist appointment with CS*

CS: "Do you know something I'm not pwoud of?"
Me: "What?"
CS: "No! I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to HIM!" (pointing)
Eye doctor: "What are you not proud of?"
CS: "I have a powice wec-ohd and I'm only seven."
Me: "Oh C, that's not appropriate..."

Amewicah

CS: "Ah we still in Amewicah?"

Bitch slap

CS: "Becca? Did you know they-uh's a slap that stahts with a bad wuhd?"
Me: "There is?"
CS: "It stahts with a 'b.'"
Me: "Ohhh, but that's a bad word and you don't say that right? I like that about you C, you don't swear."
CS: "Yeah. But they do on dad's video game Wesident Evil."

I'm flattered, but no.

*While dropping CS off at home*

CS' 4 year old brother J: "M wants to kiss you." (M is their 10 year old brother)

Pregnant working conditions

*CS and I talking after chatting with my pregnant supervisor*

CS: "Should she be wuh-king in huh condition?"

My mom is prettier than you

MD: "My mom is prettier than you."