Pimp slap

*7 year old DR talking to me about a video game he plays*

DR: "And then I pimp slapped him."
Me: "You what?!"
DR: "I pimp slapped him."
Me: "Do you know what that means?"
DR: "I slap him hard?"

Blind driver

DR: "When a person is done being blind, can they drive a car?"

Tooth poop

MD: "I swallowed my last tooth. And you want to know what? I pooped it out!"

I imagine like the Jetsons

DR: "Becca, what's the future like?"

Pony nuts

Me: "So we'll stop at Dunkin Donuts for a treat."
DR: "Ooooo! I love Dunkin Donuts! Dunkin Po-nuts! Po-nuts! Dunkin pony nuts! I love pony nuts! I love pony nuts!!"
Me: "D, let's not say that in public..."

Mom farts

CS: "I nevuh lose my appetite! Except when my mom fa-uhts. Then we all lose ow-uh appetites..."

Too-tight shirt

MD: "Becca, I think that shirt is getting a little tight on you."

Arm strings

*Me and CS rock climbing*

CS: "Owww!!"
Me: "Are you ok?"
CS: "Yeah... you know those stwings in yo-ah ah-ums? It felt like mine wuh pulled too tight."

Trying to get fat

Me: "We're going rock climbing today! It will be great exercise!"
CS: "I don't wanna ex-uh-cise. You wanna know why?"
Me: "Why?
CS: "Because I'm twying to get fat like M (brother) and dad!"
ME: "That's unhealthy..."

Mini Al Gore

CS: "I recycle! Did you know I'm saving the wo-uhld?"

I need a hovercraft

CS: "What's this?"
Me: "A hovercraft."
CS: "I need this! My mom needs this at home."
Me: "Your mom does not need a hovercraft, C."

Job validation

Me: "C, let's go. It's time to get home."
CS: "Aww, do we hafta? I wike meeting wif you!"

Poo in a hole

CB: "What are you guys good at? We have to be creative for open mic night."
M: "I know how to poo in a hole."