Hotboxing the car

CS: "Excuse me, Becca? Can you woll down the window. The a-yah doesn't smell so good in the cah."
Me: "C... Did you fart?"
CS: "Maybe..."

This is your captain speaking

Me: "I used to work at the airport C."
CS: "What pwane did you contwol?"

Your face

Me: "My toe hurts."
MD: "Your toes hurts? Well your face is killing me!"

*MD so badly wanted to tell this joke that she made me say something hurt when in fact, my toe did not hurt*

*Also, I thought she was going to throw her slushie Glee-style on whatever body part I mentioned "hurt", which is why I said my toe. I was wearing bowling shoes at the time...*

Black butt

MD: "You have a black butt."

Set in stone

CS: "Can we play with S tomorrow?"
Me: "It's not set in stone yet C..."

*5 minutes later*

CS: "Can we put the stone in place now?"

Backstabber

MD: "Oh, I've been here before. My grandpa's brother lives out here. But then he stabbed him......back."
Me: "He stabbed him?! Ohhh, he stabbed him in the back."

Great minds

cs: "Becca, you need to get yo-uh ca-uh fixed."
Me: "Why do you say that C?"
CS: "Because it's making funny noises."
Me: "Yeah... what does it sound like to you?"
CS: "Like a jet flying ovah yo-uh ca-uh."
Me: "That's exactly what I thought it sounded like too!!"

2nd Best

MD: "You're my second best friend."

Obama's biggest problem

CS: "Did you he-uh? The pwesident has bed bugs!"