Picky

MD: "What are we doing today?"
Me: "We're going bowling!"
MD: "Bowling? I call it BORING."

Fiesty

Me: "Hi S, my name is Rebecca. It's nice to meet-"
SI: "Shut up, BITCH!!"

Ewww

DR's sister R: "D has a crush on Sooophie!"
DR: "Grandma! R is reading my diarrhea!"

Not everyone has the fever...

DR: "I HATE Justin Beaver!"

What about a mullet? I'd say that's more of a slow haircut.

CS: "Im as fast as a mowhawk!!"

Alphabet

CS: "What comes after 'L'?"
Me: "Sing the song."
CS: "H I J K L emeno P. P! P comes after L"

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(Listening to 'In Da Club' by 50 Cent)
RM: "What's bub?"
Me: "I have no idea..."

(Listening to 'My Humps' by Black Eyed Peas)
RM: "What's this song about?"
Me: "I have no idea..."

All about MD

MD: "Do I have red hair?"
Me: "No, it's dirty blonde."
MD: "GOOD! I would HATE to have red hair."
Me: "Hmmm..."

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While playing a game of tag (that I always lose)
MD: "Ohhhh!! You got POWNED!"

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MD: "Wake up in the morning feelin' like... gettin' dizzy..."

Such a whore

TE: "I wonder what Jurassic Park is rated... I think it's PG 3*... it is a whore movie."
BL and me: "A what??"
SG: "A horror movie."


*Yes, he did say PG 3

Just wait for puberty to hit

Yoga instructor: "Ok, now we're going to do partner stretches. This one you're going to grab your partner's hands-"
J: "We did this one last week! I did it with Becca. I'm not doing it with her again, her hands were sweaty! Ewwww."
Me: "Deal with it."

Yoga is not as peaceful as you might think

M: "I'm going to use yoga to scare bad guys away if they break into my house to steal my stuff."

Borrowed from a friend...

This post is from an experience my friend Mike (who's black) had while student teaching. The second grade class was learning about blood in science.

2nd grader: "Teacher, if we have white blood cells to help us get better from colds, does he [pointing at Mike] have black blood cells?"

Wouldn't that be great?

cs: "I know way-uh chocolate milk comes fwom."
Me: "Where?"
CS: "Chocolate cows."

What's the cutoff age?

Discussing how the server would find us at a restaurant...
MD: "They'll remember you because you're cute."

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MD: You're too old to have a boyfriend

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CF: "Where are my manners?! Would you like a french fry?"

I need to stop driving by horse barns

DR: "Ooo horsies! Can you take me horseback riding sometime?"
Me: "I'm allergic."

Fiyahhh

CS to firefighter: "Um, I have anotha question... it has to do with next Wednesday."
Firefighter: "Ok..."
CS: "Can Becca bah-woah yuh fiyah twuck so she can pick me up at school with it?"
Firefighter: "Yeah... no."
Me: "Thanks for asking anyway C!"

Probably illegal

D's sister: "Where are you taking D today?"
Me: "I'm taking him to the Humane Society which is similar to a pet shop."
D's sister: "Well I think next time you should take him to a baby shop because he loves babies."

Um...no.

MD: "Will you take me horseback riding?"